Why does Mother-In-Law Ignore me?

My MIL ignores me. We just had a party for our daughter and our first conversation was because she let our 18 month old wander through the gym in the next room where we were having our party. Then she was upset that I moved her purse from the floor. I explained that the the young children at the party could get into the purse, but then she put her purse back on the floor. I then had to ask my husband to move it. She is all about my husband. I finish my MBA and she doesn't acknowledge it at all. She wants to spend more time with her granddaughter but when she spends time with her she is selfish - plays with toys that she wants her to play with and how she wants her to play instead of watching her and reading to her at her level. For example instead of the word book which says Shoes, she says red shoes with black buckle - that is way too much for our daughter and then our daughter leaves and picks up a new book. Another thing she has said is that our daughter won't let my MIL hold her the way my MIL wants to, which is to cradle our daughter like a baby. During the party she took our daughter away from everyone and into other rooms which were not part of the party and there were guests that drove 3 or more hours to get to the party. I find that she is jealous of me and selfish. We have had a talk about how she made a fit in the hospital waiting room and my husband had to leave my side during my emergency c-section to calm down his mother. She thought there was nothing wrong with that. Then when I came home without our daughter who was born 3 months early, she hung up baby clothes everywhere which offended me and was not respectful of my feelings. We discussed this and she said she never caused a scene (why would the nurse lie and take my husband from my side if she was not making a scene) and that decorating is what she does for everyone and that I was disrespectful for not liking it. She told me that she understands that her son has a new role but she still needs him. She is divorced and is alone. I just don't know what to do. We had a talk and things didn't get any better. I have been told to just ignore her now cause after the party and the way she acted I was so upset. She came an hour late to the party when she hadn't seen our daughter in over a month. I know that I am overly protective of our daughter, she spent 3 months in the NICU and while that isn't justification, it is why I am so protective. We had to worry about RSV and the potential that if our daughter got RSV that she would be back in the hospital. So we only had grandparents over during the fall and winter months, but she didn't explain the reasons to her family and now they all hate me to because they think I am just like my husband's ex. I have tried to explain, but I am tired of explaining everything over and over again. I want a better relationship with my MIL and her family. While I want this I don't know if she wants this. She only cares about her family and has sent me a letter where she wanted my parents and I to get to know her family better. What about my family? Our wedding was very small, only our parents and our daughter so our families still haven't really all met. Please help me. I just don't know what to do. This has really stressed me out.